alive [a performance piece]

i wanna feel alive
i wanna feel alive like...like alive alive, ya know?
i wanna feel alive like i thought it was monday mornin but i just realized it sunday instead
i wanna feel alive like it's 10:30 am and i still don't have to roll outta bed
i wanna feel alive like a mother who just had a child
like a child who just realized he had a mother
like a father who just realized he had a son
i wanna feel alive like an 80 year old man with a winning ticket just figuring out that he's won
i wanna feel alive like i just bought a new iPod
i wanna feel alive like a child having his first connection to God
i wanna feel alive like a river noticing the breeze for a change
i wanna feel alive like a man who loves a woman and for once he's not ashamed
i wanna feel alive like a man who loves a woman and for once he's not ashamed
i wanna feel alive like a woman who found a man and for once he remembers her name
i wanna feel alive like i'm downtown on the corner of college and clayton street
and i notice a crumbled man on the steps cardboard at his feet
and i notice a girl with heels walking past not knowing what it means not to eat
and i notice the man barely move his head to say god bless you please help me
and i notice she almost walks faster but instead steps back
and i notice she pulls a small book from her pink and black northface backpack
and she takes the man's hands into hers and she says
i love you, my brother
take this and be blessed
and i wanna feel alive like a man on the corner
who one day met a northface angel
and slept that night with an empty stomach but a full heart
and slept that night without a lover but filled with love

and i wanna feel alive like i found out what it feels like to be loved by a complete stranger
and i wanna feel alive like i walked into this room and was loved by complete strangers
and i wanna feel alive like all day long i've been saving the world in my brown lunch bag and arrive home tired and exhausted and i sit down as the sun sets over heart break and lost soldiers and empty beds and hurricanes and counseling and poetry and everything else
and i open my brown lunch bag, and take my first bite
and i'll be free
and i'll be loved
for tonight